Rantings of a Flakey Blogger

I've been a flakey blogger, reader, and commenter lately. First there was the big move, and before I could even get fully recovered from that, all sorts of other stuff started happening. Once the dust settles I'll fill you in on all the details, but for now just imagine several of the major life events happening simultaneously; that's my life at the moment. For the record though, I am NOT pregnant. And NEVER will be. Yesterday's reader question was most definitely made on behalf of someone other than myself!

Since I'm on that subject, allow me to share something that really gets under my skin*. I'll start by saying that I am child-free by choice, and in fact I've known pretty much since I was a child myself that kids just weren't my thing. For years I've put up with random people, some of whom barely know me, lecturing me on how I'll change my mind. I've put up with new parents insinuating about all the wonderousness I'm missing out on and how a woman really isn't a woman until she's a mother. I've even put up with doctors who flat out refused to consider giving me a tubal ligation, and one who even told me he would require my then-husband's PERMISSION to get one. I wish I were kidding.

What I will NOT put up with, however, is the parents who say things like this: "Oh, it must be nice to be able to go out to dinner" or, "Gee, it must be nice to treat yourself to new clothes and a pedicure." Yes, in fact it IS nice. But it's not like this was some big secret that the rest of the world hid from prospective parents, and frankly it's not my fault that other people made choices in life that required certain sacrifices which perhaps they weren't prepared for.

The implication in statements like these is that I chose my path simply for selfish, frivolous indulgences such as pedicures or a new pair of shoes, and that because I shirked the important job of parenting, I have time for silly pleasures. And that implication really pisses me off. I chose not to have children for a variety of very personal and very well-considered reasons. That I also get to enjoy my free time and indulge in some of the finer things in life is great too, but if I'd had a real drive to have children, none of those things would've mattered; I'd have made the appropriate sacrifices and not whined about it to people who didn't. We all make our own choices in life, and we should be supportive of each other regardless of how those choices might be different from our own. Not having children comes with its own set of sacrifices too, not the least of which is a general lack of understanding from the rest of the world.

Living child-free means living in the minority. And it takes a certain bravery and self-awareness to willingly put yourself there, to be sure. So just as we can admire the women who are loving, committed mothers (and I do!), so should we admire and support the women who choose a different path. Us non-mothers have plenty to offer the world too, besides just buying up its shoes.

Today's outfit:
Top: La Redoute
Jacket: Tulle
Green slip: All Saints
Skirt: LA Made
Shoes: John Fluevog

*Please note, this post is not in any way related to yesterdays' reader question or in fact to anyone who comments on this blog, it was just something that's been on my mind lately and which I was reminded of by all the talk about pregnancy.

Allow Me to Introduce... My Lizard

Have you been watching the new Life series on the Discovery Channel? I'm absolutely enthralled with shows like that, and I was particularly excited to see that one of the first episodes was dedicated entirely to reptiles and amphibians. I've hinted at my great love for herpetofauna on the blog before (and perhaps you've guessed it from my snake tattoo), but today I thought I'd go a step further and introduce you to Charlie, my pet lizard.

Charlie is a Chuckwalla lizard, and is native to the American southwest desert regions. I'm not entirely sure of his origins, though my assumption is that he was originally wild caught in Nevada. Having been purchased at a pet store, he belonged to a friend's son when I lived out in Minnesota, and when the son went away to college I adopted Charlie. That was in the winter of 1998, which would make Charlie at least 12 or 13 years old (they can live up to 25 years).

Charlie is a smallish lizard, measuring about 11 or 12 inches from nose to tail. However, he resides in an enclosure of epic proportions, which is roughly 5 feet tall, 4 feet wide and 2 feet deep. He inherited this palatial residence from my beloved iguana Pet, who passed away a few years ago. At first I wanted to get rid of the enclosure because the reminder of Pet was too painful, but in the end I decided that upgrading Charlie's living quarters was a more fitting tribute. So there it sits, taking up an enormous amount of space in my studio apartment. Watching Charlie, a rock-dwelling species, clamber clumsily up and down on the branches is entertainment that more than makes up for the oversized footprint of the enclosure. And more importantly, he really seems to enjoy having all that space.

You might not think it by looking at him, but underneath Charlie's harmless looking exterior lies the heart of a killer...

...of flowers. Yes, this diminutive reptile has an insatiable appetite for anything sweet smelling and brightly-colored. Nasturtiums are one of his favorite treats, and he's ruthless in devouring them. He's so enthusiastic when he gets a treat that you'd think he was a Komodo Dragon going in for the kill. He's especially attracted to the color yellow, and once he even tried to eat my DeWalt drill when Mark and I were making some repair on his enclosure.

The coolest thing about Charlie is his ability to inflate his body with air when he's scared or pissed off. In the wild, Chuckwallas inflate in order to squeeze themselves into rock crevices and prevent predators from extracting them, but after living predator-free for all these years, Charlie is pretty relaxed and rarely does it anymore. The only time he does is when he gets a bath, which then causes him to bob around in the water like a buoy. If I weren't afraid of stressing him out too much, I'd probably bathe him more often just to giggle at the sight of him floating in the tub.

Do you have any exotic or unusual pets?